Life
by paniclambert
Summary: Bella's transformation doesn't go as planned, but she still has a unique ability, she can make one of the Cullens human again. my version of Breaking Dawn. takes place after Edward bites Bella.
1. Chapter 1

My eyes opened slowly, taking in the world around me. It struck me that I was seeing everything for the first time…again. My body felt energized, as if I had been electrically charged. I was suddenly filled with anticipation, as well as profound fear. I wanted to see my new body, and use my new keener senses, but I was terrified that I would look in the mirror and not recognize the person looking back. What if Edward realized the new person I had become was not who he had fallen in love with? These thoughts filled me with dread, but I quickly brushed them aside. Edward had told me many times before that he loved me for me, and that no change that I could possibly undergo during the conversion would affect that.

I rose from the bed, flexing my new muscles and looked around for Edward. I whispered his name, knowing that he could hear me perfectly clearly. I waited, confused as to why he wasn't by my side already. I mentally chided myself for wondering this. It was unfair of me to think that I could commandeer all of Edwards time.

A thought occurred to me as I examined my pale vampire skin; I should sparkle in the sunlight. I decided to test this. I walked over to the windows and extended my arm. The sunlight streamed over it. I waited, thinking that maybe it needed a moment to react, but even after several seconds, nothing happened. I started to worry, I was pretty positive that I was supposed to sparkle. Was this just because I was a new vampire? Maybe I needed a day or two. But I began to wonder…

As I walked over to the mirror, my breath quickened. I almost laughed at myself, remembering that I no longer needed to breathe. That was going to be a hard habit to shake.

The sunlight danced on the glass, beckoning me. I knew that whatever I saw would not change who I was, but it frightened me to not know what Edward would see. My eyes met the eyes of the girl in the mirror.

My hands flew up to my face.

"Bella!" I turned to see Edward glide through the door. His expression was anguished, and I was instantly filled with horror.

He rushed over to me, taking both my hands in his.

"Bella, everything is alright, don't do anything rash," he pleaded, letting go of my hands and grabbing my shoulders instead.

I looked in the mirror again, running my hands over my face, _my_ face. Nothing had changed. I was just as plain and _human _as I was before Edward bit me. How could this be possible? I was sure that part of becoming a vampire meant becoming breathtakingly beautiful. I didn't even care about the breathtaking part, I just hoped that the gap between mine and Edwards looks would be lessened slightly, at least so that I wouldn't feel so inadequate beside him.

His eyes traced my face. His expression was guarded but I could see the concern hidden behind the calm mask.

"Edward I don't understand," I started.

He cut me off. "Bella, everything is fine, exceptional actually. I could not possibly imagine a better turn of events. All is well, so stop this unnecessary worrying." His overly jovial voice was in no way comforting.

"What turn?" I asked, hysteria creeping into my voice.

"Well…" he began.

Before he could continue another thought occurred to me, what if my face wasn't the only thing that hadn't changed? What if I still had my ridiculous clumsiness, or I was still just as weak? What if I still lacked the speed, the grace and the agility that Edward and the other Cullen's possessed?

The worst thought occurred to me then.

What if I was still human?


	2. Chapter 2

"Bella, please, just trust me for the moment," he begged. "We think that we have an idea as to what is happening, but right now, its best that I say nothing." His eyes implored me to remain silent and trust his judgment, but I wasn't having that.

"Edward, tell me now!" I screamed, unleashing all my anger and frustration. I vary rarely raised my voice at him so the shock on his perfect face was understandable.

"What happened to me?" I searched for some answer or reassurance in his eyes, but his blank stare offered me neither.

He hesitated, his eyes never leaving mine. For a moment his mask cracked and I glimpsed the turmoil that was going on inside of him, but he quickly regained his composure.

"Come downstairs," he said simply. With that he walked out the door.

The Cullens were gathered around the dinning room table, much like they had been the night I put my mortality up to a vote. That night seemed so distant now. I was so sure that the vote would secure me my place in the Cullen family as a fellow vampire. Now everything seemed less certain.

Edward stood up as I approached. He gestured for me to sit beside him in one of the plush, elegant chairs that the Cullens used so rarely. He pulled the chair out for me in his ever gentlemanly manner, and once I was seated looked around at his family.

"I know that you feel Bella should be told what the current predicament is, but I think otherwise." He looked at me again before he proceeded. "If I could have my way, which I have a feeling I will not, we would wait until we know without a doubt what all of this means."

At this Alice stood up. "Edward I know what I saw, my vision was _not _wrong," She said with more agitation in her voice than I had ever heard. She glared at Edward, as he began to protest.

"Bella is a young vampire, she has a great deal to worry about without you troubling her with your subjective visions," he rebutted.

"My visions may be subjective but they are always right!" She shouted, seething. Edwards started up with a new argument, but my attention drifted from them.

Instead I glanced around at the rest of the Cullens, who were seated silently. Esme was looking back and forth between Edward and Alice, her face filled with motherly concern. Emmett was twiddling his thumbs and shaking his head. Japser was intently observing Edward and Alice, his posture making it look like he was preparing to intervene should the fight become physical. It was Rosalie, however, who held my attention. Her eyes were downcast and her expression bleak. She looked as if she were about to cry, only for her the tears would never come. I had never seen her look so vulnerable or so hopeless. This face frightened me more than any of her hate filled glances ever had.

Amidst the chaos, Carlisle rose and immediately commanded the attention of the room. All eyes were fixed on him, and Edward and Alice quickly lowered their voices.

"I think that Bella should know, not just because she has every right but because she is also a part of this family," he turned to Edward. "She is your wife Edward, and to truly help her through this you must be honest with her."

Edward looked at me, his eyes mirroring the struggle inside of him. My breath caught. I waited for the blow, knowing that whatever words came next, they could only lead to pain.

He knelt down beside me, caressing my arm tenderly. I realized that he was still touching me with caution, as if I were still delicate and breakable. Was I still breakable?

"Bella, things didn't exactly go the way they…normally do, with your transformation," he said slowly.

I was instantly paralyzed with fear. I couldn't breath, move, or even blink. A gnawing feeling started in my stomach, and my throat seemed to close up. Everything around me was going fuzzy, save for Edwards burning eyes. They were my anchor keeping me from losing myself in the haze.

When he understood that I could not respond, he continued.

"When I bit you, the venom spread throughout your body, as it was supposed to." He stopped and looked skywards as if he were seeking divine help. "But…you are not a vampire."

"What?" I said incredulously. My mind was reeling. I actually thought I might faint. Edward realized this and held both my shoulders to steady me.

"Breathe Bella," he whispered. I had never been so angry to hear someone tell me to breathe, even when it was Edward's velvet voice telling me to do something absolutely necessary. But I didn't want it to be necessary. I hated the fact that I still needed to intake air. Oxygen was now my enemy.

Edward looked up at Carlisle, still not letting go of my shoulders.

"Will you explain for me please?" he asked, with pleading eyes. Carlisle nodded.

"Bella, when Edward's venom mixed with your blood, it saved you, but it did not transform you," he said softly.

In that instant, I was almost positive that I saw my life flash before my eyes, as well as my future. I saw my mother looking at me with her erratic but always loving eyes. I saw Edward, sitting in the cafeteria that first pivotal day. I saw him in the meadow, shining with the light of a thousand diamonds. I saw him leaving, and I could feel the devastation. But then I saw Jacob's smile. I saw us together riding our motorcycles and laughing like we didn't have a care in the world. Jacob always made me feel like that. I saw him climb through my window, his face troubled but determined. I saw Italy, and Edwards face when he asked me to marry him. I saw the pure joy when he put the ring on my finger, making me his forever. Then I saw my future. It was a void, where the promise of forever meant nothing because forever would only come for one of us.


	3. Chapter 3

Carlisle's worried voice brought me out of my reverie.

"Bella," he prompted. He wanted me to say something, wanted me to reassure them that I was going to be fine in the long run, even if I didn't feel that way right now. He wanted some indication as to what this news would do to me. I supposed it was out of concern for me, but it gave me no comfort. I tried to remain as indifferent as possible, but I could feel that I was on the verge of tears.

Edward's arms tightened around me, as if he were trying to create a barrier between me and this horrible twist of fate.

"I love you," he whispered into my hair.

With those words I broke down. I started shaking violently, uncontrollably. The tears that had threatened to overtake me began to flow freely down my cheeks. I cried without even caring that Edward and his entire family were watching me, observing this pitiful human.

That's not what they're thinking, I told myself silently. They care about me.

Well, they do now, a cold voice in my head whispered.

I sat there, crying in Edwards arms, my world falling apart at the seams.

Carlisle came over to us and put a strong hand on my shoulder, where Edwards hand had been a moment ago.

"I know that now it doesn't seem like it, but actually, your situation is the most desirable one that I have ever seen." He looked at me almost wistfully. "You now have a second chance at life, without being condemned to an eternity of being only half alive." As he said the last part his eyes became overwhelmingly sad. "You got what we all wanted."

Rosalie's head snapped up. "What we still want," she said bitingly.

Esme turned to Rosalie with hard eyes. Alice, who was sitting beside her, put a hand on her arm.

"Stop Rosalie," she said firmly.

Edward gave Rosalie a cold stare. I looked around in confusion. What had Rosalie said that was so wrong? It was understandable that she still wanted to be human. Rosalie had never wanted this life.

"I think that I should go take Bella upstairs," Edward said, helping me up as he stood. He put a sturdy arm around me, allowing me to put most of my weight on him. I let him guide me toward the stairs, no longer caring where I went.

"Wait."

I turned to see Rosalie standing, her face alight with a fury that only a vampire could posses. I broke out in a cold sweat as Edward stiffened. He tightened his grip on me.

"So you're not going to tell her?" She asked in disbelief. I was unsure as to whether she was talking to Edward or the entire Cullen family.

Edward let go of me, and advanced towards her.

"She had been through quite enough Rosalie, surely even you can look past your own selfishness and see that," he said angrily.

Rosalie didn't even blink. Her eyes remained fixed on Edward as she began to address the rest of the Cullens.

"I think that Bella should know," she said confidently. "I think she _deserves_ to know, and if Edward won't tell her, I think Alice should." She gave Alice a smirk. "Please explain your vision to us Alice, because I'm sure Bella would just _love_ to hear about it."

Alice sat, looking as though she were deliberately trying to avoid eye contact with Rosalie.

I realized then what people meant when they said that things could always get worse. Never again would I be optimistic about anything. I suddenly remembered a dance recital that I had been in when I was young, and how I had first tripped on my ballet flats, then grabbed the arm of another innocent dancer, and then proceeded to drag her down so that she kicked the pianist's bench out from under her. Worse was always possible.

I staggered forward, more numb than frightened now. Whatever Alice's vision was, it could not possibly be any more horrendous than the news that I was still human. I just wanted to get it over with.

"Tell me," I said flatly. Edward turned to face me looking as if he were about to protest, but then resignation crossed his face.

Carlisle did speak up. "Bella, this may not be something that you should hear right now," he warned me. "You're under a great deal of stress, and this will only add to it substantially."

"I want to know," I said again, more loudly than before. My hands were shaking.

Carlisle nodded and gestured to Alice, who stood up and turned to me.

I had never more afraid of Alice in my life. It was almost laughable that this pixie like girl with her wild brown hair and eternally kind face could frighten me. In a way I guess all of this was somewhat laughable. I would have to remind myself to laugh later, after I had gotten over the devastation part of it.

Alice took a deep breath, watching me with cautious eyes.

"Bella, I had a vision," she informed me. I nodded at her half heartedly, indicating that I had been made aware of this. She began again. "When Edward's blood mixed with your own, you were not given immortality, but you were given…a unique power."

"And what would that be?" I asked bleakly when she didn't continue after several seconds.

She took one of my hands in both of hers. "If you should so choose, you have the ability to change one of our lives. You could give one of us life. Not the life we live right now, this 'half life' as Carlisle aptly put it, but actual life. Essentially Bella, you can make one of us human again."


	4. Chapter 4

It was like being slammed into a brick wall.

I could make one of them human? I could actually give one of them life? It was like hearing that I could walk through fire or fly. It was like someone telling me that I could breathe in outer space. It was like finding out that I could wake Elvis from the dead. My mom would love that one.

Before Edward bit me, I had thought briefly about what I would want my power to be should I have acquired one when I became a vampire. I had debated mind reading for a while, hoping that it would give me some insight into Edward's ever cryptic thoughts. I also considered being able to turn into a bat, for the whole flying aspect of it. My favorite one however, was the ability to live without drinking blood. I knew it was a long shot, well actually impossible seeing as how the definition of vampire was a being that lives on blood, but the idea was so appealing. The ability to make a vampire human again never once crossed my mind.

The Cullens were all giving me wary looks. Most likely they thought that I was soon going to topple over or go into shock. I felt Alice's hands tighten on my hand, as if preparing for a possible collapse.

Edward was the first one to speak.

"I think that Bella should be allowed to take some time to process this, and if you all don't mind, I'm going to take her to her room now," he said in a voice that I was sure was supposed to make it clear that no one should attempt to stop him.

Rosalie didn't take the hint. "No, there is no way she gets to just leave after that," she yelled at Edward.

"Come on Rose, just let her be," Emmett quietly urged, reaching up to take Rosalie's arm. She shook him off.

"This is not something she gets to just walk away from," Rosalie exclaimed. "This now involves all of us and she should not be able to go and hide while we have to sit here and wait for her!"

"No one is forcing you to wait," Edward roared. "Go, take a walk, drive somewhere, jump off a high ledge, but just leave her alone!"

"Stop!"

Five faces turned to me. The Cullen's expressions ranged from completely shocked to mildly impressed. I was sure that my face was among the shocked ones. I hadn't even realized that I was saying anything until the words came out, very loudly. I wasn't even sure anymore what I was going to say in the first place. I think I just wanted to stop the sparring match.

"Bella, is there something you wanted to say?" Carlisle inquired, with a hint of a smile on his face. He seemed to be among the impressed ones.

Without really knowing what I was saying, I began to speak.

"I want to know how it works," I said in a strong voice.

The room became silent.

"How what works love?" Edward asked in the sweet muted voice that I had adored since the first time it rang in my ears. It was a stark contrast from the thunderous voice he had been using just a moment ago.

"I think Edward, that she would like to known how she could give life back to a vampire," Carlisle said with understanding in his eyes. "Is that correct Bella?"

I nodded silently.

"Maybe we should all discuss this," Esme suggested in her calm motherly voice. "Unless of course you would rather go upstairs and rest awhile Bella, which is absolutely fine," she said with a pointed look at Rosalie.

I shook my head, not wanting to risk angering Rosalie any more than I had already.

"We should talk," I agreed, unhinging myself from Alice's grasp and walking over to take my place at the table. Alice and Edward followed suit.

"Wonderful," Carlisle said pleasantly. He waited for the Cullens and me to get situated and then began again. "So Bella, You want to know what you would have to do in order to make one of us human."

"Yes," I responded, my voice less strong now. I was nervous. I hoped that it was quick and easy, and something that would be painless, at least for them.

"Well actually the process seems to be very similar to the way one would transform a human into a vampire," Carlisle explained. "Should you decide to do this, the individual of your choosing would drink a portion of your blood, at least an ounce of it, but instead of you becoming a vampire, they would become a human. It's really quite miraculous." Carlisle smiled in full, but it was not a happy smile. It was almost dazed.

I sat there, trying to collect my thoughts. I would have to let one of the Cullens drink my blood? The idea was unnerving, especially considering the possibility that, while it may give them life, it could also end my life. If the one to do it was unable to stop…

"How would it work, the giving blood part?" I asked timidly.

"Well, I put some thought into that aspect of it, and it seems that if you were to allow me to draw just the amount of blood that would be necessary, there would be no need for you to be subjected to another vampire bite," Carlisle informed me. This earned him numerous looks of admiration from those around the table.

"Thanks Carlisle," Edward said appreciatively, looking at me.

Carlisle nodded. "If this does work, Bella will remain safe and the process should go relatively smoothly."

Relief flooded through me. There was almost no pain, aside from the fact that I would have to have a somewhat large quantity of blood drawn, but that was just a minor drawback. Also, whichever Cullen was the one to take my blood would be able to do it without any trouble, and wouldn't even have to run the risk of accidentally killing me. Whichever Cullen became human again would be able to do it quickly and efficiently. Whichever Cullen…

A thought occurred to me then.

"I have to choose…one of you?" I asked in a small voice.

An uncomfortable silence swept through the room. Not a good sign.

Edward put his arm around me, turning me so that our eyes met. I was instantly captivated by his liquid topaz eyes, and I had to struggle to keep my train of thought.

"Bella," he said slowly, "We're leaving it up to you to choose who you want to make human again."

Staring into his eyes, I could only think of how obvious it was who I would want.

"Well, I don't mean to be rude, but I think I know," I said almost guiltily, looking at Edward but addressing the rest of the Cullens.

Edward smiled, but shook his head. "Bella we already discussed this part and we thought that maybe it would be better if you took some time to think about your decision before you voiced it," he explained in a soft voice.

Carlisle interjected. "We thought, if you'll agree to it, that we could wait awhile and all those who wish to be considered for the possibility of becoming human again could speak to you privately. Then you could make your decision."

My mind reeled. Consider someone other than Edward to make human again? I loved the whole Cullen family, but to choose anyone else besides Edward was almost inconceivable. I could wait a year and my choice would be exactly the same. Then again, to flat out say no would be terrible, and a few more days couldn't hurt.

"Okay," I said simply.

Esme and Carlisle nodded in approval. "Thank you Bella," Carlisle said.

Edward stood.

"Now, I think it best that I return Bella to her room," he informed those around the table. He extended a hand for me, and I took it gratefully. We walked up the stairs together that way, hand in hand.

There was no way my choice would ever change.


	5. Chapter 5

The next two days passed by very slowly. I slept a great deal and I read a great deal. The Cullens had a truly magnificent library. If had become a vampire and had an eternity ahead of me I probably would have planned to spend a sizable portion of it in there.

The only time I saw any of the Cullens was when I had to go down to the kitchen for a meal. They greeted me amicably, but the small conversations were tinged with discomfort. I could tell they were trying to treat me as they always had, but it felt as though they were waiting for me to deliver a death sentence. I guess in a way I was. When one of them became human, they would finally be able to die.

I wondered if that was appealing to them, the idea of mortality. To be able to know that there was an end, that there wasn't just an indefinite void. Maybe they feared death, after living with the idea of endless life for so long. Maybe I would talk to Edward about that sometime.

On the night of the second day, I was sitting on my bed, slowly consuming a bowl of split pea soup when there was a knock on the door.

"Come in," I said, assuming that it would be Edward.

I watched the door open slowly. I had my arms outstretched, waiting to embrace him. A smile was plastered on my already soup covered face.

Instead of Edward however, it was Emmett who walked through the door. He gave me a small smile and an eyebrow raise as a greeting. I gestured for him to sit down. He walked gracefully over to the chair in the corner of the room. I had always marveled at how poised and fluid his movements could be, given his size and all. In this light he almost looked like a very strong and powerful angel. Edward would have laughed at that thought. Emmett was undoubtedly the least angelic of the Cullens.

"Hey," I greeted him. He nodded at me.

I noticed his eyes then. They were devoid of any trace of humor, quite a rare occurrence for Emmett. Even when discussing how to slaughter a pack of young vampires, the ones led by Victoria, there was a glint of merriment in his eyes. Now, I could only see fear and misery, though it was shielded by a thin mask of composure.

He shifted in his seat, glancing down. I followed his eyes and realized his enormous hands were quivering. I had an impulse to reach out and comfort him, but something about his expression discouraged me from doing this.

He looked up, his eyes level with mine.

"Emmett," I started to say, but before I could say another word he was speaking, more anxious than I had ever heard him.

"Bella, I know that you don't want to hear any more about this power thing that you have, but I just really need to get this out," he said rapidly. He gave me a look as if begging for my permission for him to continue.

"Please, go ahead," I said softly.

Still shaking, he reached his hand into his pocket. It reemerged with a small black velvet pouch. When he turned it over I saw the silver threaded initials, _A. L. _I looked up at him inquisitively.

He noticed my confused expression.

"Albert Livingston," he murmured. "He was my best friend back when I was human. He kept his gun powder in this," he held up the pouch. "Told his mother that he had some luck charm in it, she wasn't the type to approve of guns," Emmett smiled, presumably remembering some instance with Albert and his mother.

I was fascinated. I had never really wondered about Emmett's life before he became a Cullen. He always seemed like the type of the person who preferred to live in the present, not dwell in the past, so I never inquired about his former life. Now I found myself surprised that he actually _had _a life before he became a vampire.

Emmett's smile faded as he continued to look at the black pouch. With nimble fingers he opened it, and took out a bright silver ring. He twirled it for a moment, and then turned his attention back to me.

"This is my wedding band," he said indicating the silver ring that was now in his palm. "Me and Rose have been married more times than I can remember, and she wanted to get a different band very time, to keep things interesting," he chuckled softly, gazing at the ring. "But I just wanted one, just one to know that what we had would last forever – ", he broke off and began to silently and tearlessly sob.

I was so shocked that I was quite sure if I tried to move I would be unable to. I had never seen Emmett cry before. Watching someone cry without tears was a strange sight, but in a way it was even more heartbreaking than normal.

He began again in a quite, broken voice. "Bella, I know she loves me, but I don't know if she loves me enough to pass up the chance to be human again," Emmett looked up at me in desperation. "I've always felt that she wanted more, that she wasn't completely happy, but I thought that I could make up for that. And so far, I think I have. But now…" he trailed off, and attempted to collect himself, but to no avail. "I know that I can't live without her. I don't want to live without her. I love her so much." He stopped again, breathing heavily. "I know what you probably think of her, but she really is an amazing person. Her only flaws are her jealously and her pride, and she has a lot of both, but if you could see beneath them, and if you knew her like I do, you would see why I love her," he curled his fingers around the ring in a tight grasp. "You would see why I will not live without her."

I was speechless. I had never seen Emmett in so much pain. Actually, I had never seen Emmett in pain at all. Emmett had always seemed like the type of person with a somewhat small emotional range. I had witnessed happy, confused, excited, and occasionally serious. Right then it was like watching my favorite comedian in a tear-jerking drama, without any of the cheesy Hollywood material. To see Emmett with such raw emotion was mind-blowing.

As if coming back from a dramatic pause, Emmett continued. He was slightly more composed than before, but I could still see the anguish in his eyes. His voice was strained as he spoke.

"So now I suppose I should ask you what I came here to ask you. Please don't think less of me after this," he pleaded. "When Rosalie comes to ask you to make her human again, please think twice before you say yes. Please just remember what I said."

He reached over to me and patted my arm with his immense hand. I should have been at least somewhat afraid seeing as how he could crush me if he so much as pinched me, but right then I felt no fear. To my surprise I raised my slight hand and took his hand in mine. It was like a child holding the hand of a giant. We sat there in that way for a few moments.

Emmett stood up slowly, taking his hand out from under mine.

He began walking towards the door, but turned back before exiting.

"You know Bella, I'm not sure I ever told you how glad I am that Edward found you, or that you found Edward or whatever, but I am. I'm really glad."

He smiled at me, and glided out the door.


End file.
